Though blaming others is easy, blaming your parents will not help you heal in any way whatsoever. They did the best they could and are imperfect people too. But understanding what does not belong to you in your relationship with them will allow you to heal.
Little Moments: A Mindful Shift
Free Yourself From the "Shoulds"
The issue with “should” statements comes in two parts: 1) They are value-focused and therefore gnaw at the core of who you are or believe yourself to be, and 2) They are unreasonable but treated as fact. Learning to reframe your thoughts through the language of acceptance can help to free you from unrealistic pressures and guilt.
Meeting Your Emotions
Because emotions are stored in the body, to fully receive and integrate these signals, we need to feel them. When you make connections and listen to your emotions you can use their messages to better understand yourself, your experience, and your truth. Evolve in Nature therapists in Boulder, CO can help!
Selfishness: An Act of Radical Self-Love
Having our needs met, practicing self-care, and setting boundaries does not mean we are narcissistic or toxic. Taking care of yourself does not need to come at the expense of others. Instead, when we are filled, when our needs are met, we can more fully be present with ourselves and others. It is from this space that we can create authentic agreements and be in our integrity.
Sit Spot: A Sacred Space to “Just Be”
A Sit Spot is a place in nature that you visit regularly. A Sit Spot can allow you to deepen your understanding of yourself and the natural world. By choosing a sacred place in the natural world that you can visit again and again, you can strengthen the most ancient parts of your human awareness and tune deeply into the rhythms natural world.
Does Love Scare You? : A Series On Attachment, Part Two: Avoidant Attachment
Understanding how your attachment style affects your intimate relationships can help you understand your own behavior, how you react and respond to intimacy, as well as your partner’s attachment style. Let’s explore avoidant attachment: how it is formed, how it shows up in your life, and how to heal.
Checked Out: Understanding Dissociation
Although dissociation has been studied and categorized into clinical disorders in the DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), it is important to understand that dissociation is not pathological, rather it is a safety mechanism that is in place to keep ourselves safe from stressful or traumatic events and situations.
Does Love Scare You? : A Series On Attachment, Part One
For many people, love feels good, but it can also feel scary! For some, commitment is terrifying - primarily relational commitment. For others, the thought of losing the one they love can leave them feeling panicked. Attachment theory is a helpful lens for understanding our feelings about relationships and commitment.
Spring Equinox: Rebirth and the Opportunity to Begin Again
Spring Equinox, March 20th 2022, marks the end of winter and the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere. It is a time where we celebrate coming out: coming out of the darkness, out of scarcity, out the harsh cold stillness of winter. It also marks a time of coming into: coming into the light, into dreams of summer growth and fall abundance, into possibilities. It is a time where we wake from the deep sleep of winter, crawl out of our dens, and stretch into the sunlight that falls upon our faces - waking us to the possibilities that may come.
Walk-On: Your Mental Health and the Power of Walking
There is a ton of great research that supports the many benefits of walking for physical health as well as emerging research to support the mental health benefits of walking. Like many during the early days of the pandemic, I found myself taking more walks as a way to break up my day and get out of the house, but it soon turned into an essential part of my routine and well-being. Walking is a simple but powerful practice that can yield benefits in many areas of life.
Loneliness and Social Isolation
Loneliness is an experience often associated with feeling alone, unwanted, and empty. You can have people in your life and still feel lonely. It is thought that loneliness is painful because human beings need each other to survive as social animals, and the pain of loneliness pushes us to seek out connections with other humans for the survival of our species. Social isolation is rarely survivable.
Self-Care as a Radical Act of Self-Love
Why is it so hard for us to give ourselves the care we need? The care that fills our cup, rather than drains it or numbs it? How you view self-care, and whether you believe you are deserving of it or not, points to many internalized messages about your self-worth, agency, and cultural social narratives. It also contributes to the subconscious ways in which you might self-sabotage or self-neglect - leading to further burnout, anxiety, and/or depression.
The Gift of Grace
We make these decisions and set these goals with good intentions, but we actually end up setting ourselves up for disappointment. We set the bar high for ourselves and end up feeling defeated and discouraged when we aren't getting the results we want, and we begin to lose momentum. So how do you get yourself out of these moments and moods where you feel stuck and disheartened? You give yourself the gift of grace.
Grief and Pet Loss
Self-Care and You
Self-care is not a new term, however, how we use it now is. Self-care started gaining traction in the digital age and really gathered steam during the pandemic. In a session, when I ask clients how they might practice self-care, they often report that they don’t. They don’t have time for self-care or they can’t afford it. That they need to finish their to-do list in order to relax enough or to be worthy of self-care. That self-care feels like a chore.
Knowing Your Limits: Setting Personal Boundaries
Setting boundaries is often not something we are taught directly but rather learn from others as a byproduct of our formative relationships and environment. By definition, boundaries refer to the outer limits of marked bounds of an object or place. Personal boundaries are multifaceted and can describe physical, emotional, and social perimeters. Reflection, awareness, and communication are all key skills in setting new boundaries and respecting those of others.
Getting Triggered?
A trigger is something related to a past trauma that happens externally or internally or both that affects your emotional state, often causing feelings of overwhelm and/or distress. When you are triggered, it affects your ability to remain present in the moment, and you may notice specific behavior or thought patterns come up. Words, phrases, tones, sounds, smells, people, and places can all be triggers for people who have experienced trauma.
Transitions and the Winter Solstice
We have four seasonal markers each year: Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice, Fall Equinox, and Winter Solstice. These seasonal markers have long traditions that range from the logistical (preparing food, herd migration, and farming for the season ahead) to spiritual (celebration of coming light, birthing season, abundant harvest). Regardless of how you think of these seasonal markers of change - or if you think of them at all - they influenced our ancestors greatly and they are a wonderful time for us to explore our own lives.
The Power of Gratitude
By directing your conscious attention toward the positive events and feelings you experience, you can begin to address and balance the negativity balance. One simple and powerful way to do this is gratitude. Gratitude is the conscious focus on what is going right in your life, who and what is meaningful and important, what feels kind, loving, supportive, and evokes a sense of love and wellbeing. Gratitude also has positive emotional and physiological impacts on the brain and body.